Nov 5, 2018 | Updates


Divorce is horrible. Anyone who’s been through it knows this as fact. Divorce seems to never go away. It infests every area of our life. However, divorce can be almost like a surgical procedure. A necessary step to restore health to both parties.

If you’ve done all you can to try to save the marriage, if both parties are suffering emotionally and physically from the brokenness of the marriage, it might be for the best to move on. I don’t say this lightly. To get to the point of making the decision to split has taken hundreds of thousands of hours, thinking about how to make the marriage work, trying to be kinder, a better listener, more engaging harder, faster, longer. You go to marriage counseling, take mental notes from couples that seem to have a great marriage yet nothing translates into making your relationship satisfying.

Old patterns of communicating have fossilized. No matter how hard you try to change the way you react to your spouse, your emotional response is now hard-wired in. Round and round you go. Month after month. Scars are being created with every fight. Bitterness runs deeper after every argument.

The same annoyances and the same fights now are part of your relational DNA.

Depression and despair set in. You feel paralyzed as you don’t even care at this point. You’re not even interested in trying to make an effort to repair the brokenness.

If you’ve done all you can, if there is physical or emotional abuse, psychological neglect, repeated infidelity over a period of time, abandonment, etc. moving onto a place where you can heal and be a better person might be in the best interest for you and all around you.

This is your choice alone. Let no one pressure you. You need to arrive at this difficult decision on your own and with certainty. Divorce is permanent. There is no going back.